Vladimir Yakovlev–Vazhaev is a peer-to-peer counselor with AHF Estonia partner Convictus. His story is next in our “I Am AHF” series featuring remarkable staff, clients, and partners who are doing what’s right to save lives everyday.
Interviewed by Diana Shpak, Knowledge Management Focal Point, AHF Europe.
The partnership between AHF Estonia and Convictus, the country’s largest harm reduction organization, began in October 2024, strengthening efforts to reach people who may be at increased risk of HIV.
Harm reduction plays a vital role in HIV prevention by reducing risks associated with drug use, including transmission through shared injecting equipment, while creating trusted opportunities for HIV testing, counseling, education, and connection to treatment and care. Through this partnership, Convictus and AHF Estonia provide HIV counseling and prevention outreach in community settings and on the streets, helping people access timely information and support without stigma or judgment.
Vladimir, tell us about yourself. Where were you born, and how did you start working at Convictus?
I am 33 years old. I was born in Tallinn and for many years worked in various fields, mostly in construction, warehouses, and vegetable depots, mainly doing physical labor. At one point, someone reached out a hand to me: I entered a Christian rehabilitation center and completed the full program. Today, I am a peer-to-peer counselor with Convictus and have been living free from addiction for nearly nine years.
How long were you dependent on substances?
It is difficult to name an exact number. My first addiction was alcohol. I tried it for the first time at the age of 11, and by 13 I was already drinking with adult relatives. I first encountered drugs around the age of 13–14, starting with cannabis and later moving on to heavier substances.
What made you stop?
First and foremost, my health. By that time, I already had hypertension and epileptic seizures every morning. I was exhausted by the lifestyle itself: the constant search for money, theft, trying to find where to buy substances. But the main trigger was the death of my older brother, who died at the age of 30 due to alcohol and drug addiction. That was the moment when I truly wanted a new life.
How did you find help?
I knew about Christian rehabilitation centers but did not really understand how they worked. I called a relative who was the director of one of the centers, and he referred me to a program. The first attempts were unsuccessful: I would come and leave after a month, a week, or three weeks. Addiction kept pulling me back. The last time, the decision matured after another epileptic seizure. I realized that I could not live like this anymore and that I would complete the program no matter what.
How did the rehabilitation process go?
The program lasted six months. I completed it successfully and then stayed for about another month to help others. I planned to continue my studies in Israel at a Bible school, but getting there turned out to be quite difficult.
What helped you endure and stay on this path?
First, it requires a personal decision. If a person does not truly want to quit, no one can keep them sober. Secondly, faith. I found faith in the center, and I believe that with God’s help I was able to get through the hardest moments.
You had a very serious personal experience. What happened?
As a teenager, while using substances, I fell barefoot from the third floor onto concrete. My heels were shattered, several vertebrae were broken, eight ribs were fractured, and my spleen was damaged. Doctors told me I would never walk again. I spent more than a year in a wheelchair.
How did you recover?
I had two choices: give up or fight. I chose to fight. Every day I went outside walking with crutches, despite severe pain. After two months, I started walking with one crutch, then without any. This experience gave me enormous inner strength, which I now pass on to my clients.
Why did you start using substances at such an early age?
I never shift responsibility onto my family, but I grew up in a difficult environment: my mother and stepfather were using substances, and my brother was as well. My surroundings played a major role – my friends started drinking first, then moved on to drugs, and I followed along.
My older brother died from complications of substance abuse. My mother passed away a couple of years ago due to severe health problems. My father drank his entire life and spent much of it in prison. My sister continues the same lifestyle. Out of my entire family, only my half-sister on my father’s side and I managed to break free, she has been sober for 11 years.
What does your life look like today?
Today, I have paid off all my debts. I have rebuilt my relationship with my son; he will turn 18 soon. I officially got married at the age of 15 because I wanted my child to be born within marriage. However, due to my addictions, I went to prison several times, and a year ago I was deprived of my parental rights. I always said that if my son wanted to find me, he would – and that is exactly what happened. A year ago, he found me online, invited me to his graduation, and since then we have had a very close relationship.
How do you understand your life mission?
I believe my mission is to help people – whether they are living with addiction, homelessness, or simply facing a difficult situation. I volunteered for many years in organizations that provided food for those in need, and today I work at Convictus. In the future, I want to continue developing and expand the range of support I can offer.
Do you also help people experiencing homelessness?
Yes, but only with food, never with money. I know how easily money can go toward substances. I buy bread, sausages, something simple, so a person can eat. I know what hunger feels like, and I would not wish that on anyone.
Do you have daily practices that help you stay sober?
Not really. I have become so accustomed to a sober life that it feels natural. The hardest period was the first year, but not only because I was quitting substances, but also because I was leaving criminal behavior behind. I was so used to stealing that I could automatically put something in my pocket in a store without even realizing it. After the first year, it became much easier.
What supports you today?
My hobbies. I practice urban exploration – exploring abandoned buildings, tunnels, and bunkers. Our group includes very different people; everyone comes for their own reason: silence, history, or the feeling of being in another world. I also used to run a YouTube channel, but now I focus more on photography.
I love movement and fresh air. I used to practice winter swimming regularly – icy water brings the body back to life. I walk a lot, despite old injuries, spend time outdoors, observe, and give myself space to recover.
When did you start getting tattoos?
The first one was a prison tattoo at the age of 17. I began getting professional tattoos at 20–21 and decided to cover my entire body. Over the past year and a half to two years, I have stopped getting tattoos, and now I am removing the ones on my face.
What services are missing in Tallinn?
There is a strong need for a non-religious rehabilitation center. Many people do not go to Christian centers because of strict rules, such as the ban on smoking. In non-religious centers, detoxification and gradual methadone reduction are possible, and there are always waiting lists. Such a center in Tallinn would help many more people.
What would you say to people who are currently struggling with addiction?
First, acknowledge the problem. Many people come to us with debts, illnesses, and overdoses and still say, “Everything is fine.” Until a person truly sees the problem, nothing will change.
Life without substances is far better than it may seem to someone who is still using them.
If you could choose your life again, would you change anything?
Probably not. Yes, I have health consequences, but this path made me someone who can truly help others. If my life had been ordinary, I would not have had the experience that allows me to help save lives.
Just this past summer, while collecting used syringes, I saved nearly five people by administering naloxone. The most recent case: a man was lying unconscious on a bench – I administered two doses of the medication, and at that moment the ambulance arrived. He survived. Drugs are becoming stronger and unpredictable, and people do not know their dosage.
Do you fully accept your path?
Yes. This is my path. It is difficult, but because of it I can serve people today – with my experience, understanding, and compassion.
I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to do this work with AHF. Our cooperation allows real help to reach people when they need it most – without judgment, with dignity and respect. Being part of a team that believes in access, support, and humanity gives this work an even deeper meaning for me.
