Michał Pawlega is a sexual health expert, sexologist, and cognitive behavioral psychotherapist in training, focusing on gender, sexual, and relationship diversity. With over 20 years of experience in civil society and research, he has worked as an educator, counselor, advocate, researcher, and project leader.
Michał holds degrees in adult education and clinical sexology and is pursuing further studies in psychology and counseling. He is the author of over 20 publications on HIV. He has served as a board or steering committee member of multiple human rights, health services, and policy organizations, such as Amnesty International, AIDS Action Europe, the Social AIDS Committee, and Lambda Warsaw. Recognized with the Red Ribbon Award and featured in Forbes 100 and the SexEd list, Michał has led projects that empower vulnerable groups, including LGBTQI+ communities, migrants, people living with HIV, and individuals who use psychoactive substances.
What experiences or influences led you to pursue a career in HIV/AIDS care?
To begin with, I was born in Poland, a country in Central Europe. In retrospect, I see that I grew up in a very homophobic environment—shaped by social beliefs, legal regulations, and religious influence. When I was 15, I realized I was a gay man. My first thought was: I’m the only gay man on the planet. It made me very sad because I already knew what society thought of LGBTQI+ people. At that time, the social perception only acknowledged gay men and straight people—there were no lesbians, no trans people, and no one outside the dominant hetero- and cis-norms. So I decided it had to be my secret. I couldn’t tell anyone, because I believed people would reject me.
How did it feel to be so different?
This feeling of being different was very painful. At 18, I decided to look for other gay men. But this was a completely different time—there was no internet where you could find information or meet people. It was a search for identity, a search for belonging.
I found the only existing organization in the city—called Gay Rainbow Center. For the first time in my life, I felt a sense of belonging and acceptance. Soon after, we were told the center would close due to financial difficulties. Because this place was so important to me, a few of us decided to open a new organization and raise funds to continue the mission of the Rainbow Center.
Did you become an LGBTQI+ activist?
Yes, although I didn’t think of myself that way at the time. I simply wanted to protect a safe space within a community I identified with. Looking back, I can say I became an LGBTQI+ activist early—at 19, I was elected president of a new organization that still exists today, and I’m very proud of that.
At the time, the only way to get funding for such work was through HIV prevention, so I immersed myself in the topic. Over 15 years, we grew from handing out leaflets to leading outreach and training programs—all rooted in strengthening the community.
It was during this time that I also learned I was living with HIV.
How old were you?
About 30. And I felt like there was no hope for me. I believed I would die using drugs. I couldn’t stop. Living with HIV only made my self-esteem and sense of guilt even worse.
About 10 years ago, I met a man who offered me understanding about my addiction. He gave me hope. He said: “I fully accept you, but I don’t accept your behavior. And I will take care of you.”
With the hope he gave me, I decided to change my life. It took time.
In the end, I chose to enter rehab. It was my decision—but I wasn’t alone. Someone believed in me, and that made all the difference. Recovery was difficult, but it opened a new chapter in my life.
Returning to my old organization wasn’t an option—I had lost their trust during my active addiction. That loss hurt, but it also forced me to ask: What now?
I found my answer in the Social AIDS Committee—an organization dedicated to providing HIV services. I started small and soon began training as an HIV counselor. At the same time, I realized I wanted to help others struggling with chemsex like I had. But traditional rehab didn’t understand the full picture—drug use and loss of sexual control were deeply intertwined.
Together with peers from Narcotics Anonymous, we created an initiative to support LGBTQI+ people navigating drug addiction. It began with a few voices and grew into a strong community—first local, then national—shaped by lived experience and mutual care.
That spirit of community led me to AHF. They saw the value in my journey—in my connection to those often unheard. And now, I work with them—not just as a professional, but as someone who truly understands the process.
What keeps you motivated every day in your personal and professional work with people living with HIV? What is your biggest motivation?
It’s that same sense of belonging—of being part of a community response—that drives me.
Over the years, I’ve come to identify with many groups affected by HIV: as someone living with HIV, as a gay man, as a person with experience using drugs, and later, as someone who discovered he is neurodiverse. Learning I live with ADHD helped me understand many of my life choices, including my addiction.
Working in this field allows me to stand with all these communities—and that’s where my deepest motivation comes from.
When you meet someone who has just been diagnosed with HIV, what would you say to them?
Just before I started working with AHF, we launched a project I had long dreamed of: Buddy Poland, currently supported by the AHF Fund. It’s a community-led initiative where gay men living with HIV support others who are newly diagnosed—not with clinical help, but through shared experience and human connection.
Many support programs still treat an HIV diagnosis as something inherently tragic. But the truth is: nothing tragic has happened—something important has. With modern treatment, people can live full, healthy lives. What matters is giving yourself time, seeking support, and knowing you’re not alone. And most importantly—give yourself time to grieve.
We also need to talk more about HIV prevention. Today, we have more tools than ever: condoms, U=U (undetectable = untransmittable), PEP—a one-month treatment that greatly reduces the risk of HIV infection after potential exposure—and PrEP, a daily pill that protects HIV-negative individuals with high effectiveness. People deserve to choose the method that fits their lives and needs.
But we must also confront what still fuels the epidemic: stigma and harmful laws. Criminalizing drug use, sex work, or same-sex relationships only isolates people and increases their risk. To truly move forward, we must invest in communities and empower those most affected.
Looking back—gathering all your life experience and who you are now—what would you say to little Michał, the 4-year-old boy just starting his life?
“You have the right to be yourself. You might make mistakes, and those mistakes might give you a power for a future.”
Interviewed by Diana Shpak, Knowledge Management Focal Point, AHF Europe Bureau