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Where Have All the Condoms Gone?
By: Michael Weinstein, Frontiers IN L.A.
Los Angeles, CA - June 14, 2009
Ten years ago my picture was wheat-pasted across West Hollywood with the words “condom Nazi” scrawled across it. Needless to say, as my Jewish and gay brethren had suffered the most at the hands of Hitler, I was deeply offended. The poster in question arose from AHF sponsoring an initiative to require bars in WeHo—both gay and straight—to have condoms available.
The initiative was opposed by much of the organized LGBT community, including the openly gay members of the West Hollywood City Council. The argument went that “mandating” the bars to carry the condoms violated their rights. The fact that bars have a slew of rules—from not serving minors to the water temperature in the dishwasher—and that the selling of alcohol is not a constitutionally protected right was lost on the opponents. Ultimately, West Hollywood maintained that the initiative was unnecessary because the bars—at least the gay ones—would do it voluntarily. And for a while, they did.
The leader of the opposition to the initiative was Michael Niemeyer, the owner of Micky’s. Two years ago Micky’s burned. Recently, a sleek new Micky’s reopened to packed crowds. Everything was new and enhanced; only one little thing was missing—the condoms. In fact, virtually every one of the big gay watering holes does not have condoms readily available. The city still has a distribution program organized by the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. So why are all the condoms gone?
The rate of new HIV infections in the gay community is stubbornly high. The twin epidemics of crystal meth and unsafe sex are big contributors, and yet there is nothing to remind us of this in our main social venues and of course nothing there to prevent it. Our community treats unsafe sex as a dirty secret. Anyone who dares to say that we need to be more responsible for ourselves and our partners is vilified. The people who make money off of feeding our addictions are treated as celebrities. Our political leaders won’t rock the boat.
Recently, I spoke with a beautiful young man who had just turned positive. He was a victim of sexual abuse as a child and was a little too attracted to coke. Now he will need medication for the rest of his life. Why doesn’t the fact that this has become a typical right of passage in our community bother us more? The answer is: Follow the money. Tens of millions of dollars are being spent to promote a lifestyle that drastically increases the chance of becoming infected with HIV. We have become co-conspirators with the virus. We fight for money to treat HIV, but do virtually nothing to prevent it.
We had a community norm of safer sex during the ‘80s. We can have it again, but it is going to take leadership and some tough love. I love the gay community, but I also know that we are not taking care of business when it comes to drugs, alcohol and unsafe sex. All of the trivial reasons for not practicing safer sex don’t hold up. It is time to stop acting like bad boys and start acting like the responsible men we have the ability to be. If no one ever expects much from us, that is what they will get. So let’s raise the bar and demand of ourselves that we stop this epidemic before the next generation becomes infected. Let’s bring the lowly condom back to its rightful place—which is everywhere.
- Frontiers IN L.A.
http://www.frontierspublishing.com/2803/consliving/cs_hivliving.html
